When does a baby start to get attached to a comforter?
Attachment to a cuddly toy often appears around eight months, when separation anxiety is a normal stage in children's development. At this age, the baby realizes that he is a separate person from his parents.
However, not all children adopt a cuddly toy. It depends on the toddlers, but also the countries. Indeed, the phenomenon would be mainly Western. Moreover, even in Western countries, it is estimated that only 1 in 2 children would appropriate a cuddly toy.
So you don't have to encourage your child to adopt a cuddly toy. You can provide your baby with a small blanket or stuffed animal, and if he feels the need for it, he will naturally adopt it.
What is the blanket for?
Therefore, the comforter can serve as a "bridge" between the known (the parents, the house) and the unknown. As it is a source of comfort for the toddler, it facilitates transitions. By hugging her to him, the child prolongs the feeling of security he feels at home and in the presence of his parents.
This is why psychologists call the comforter a "transitional object."
It is, therefore, an object that allows a transition between the fusional relationship of the baby with his parents and the stage where he will be fully aware that he is an individual in his own right. This stage usually happens between 12 and 18 months. It is at this time that the child takes the confidence to explore his environment under the benevolent gaze of the people he loves.
The cuddly toy at the daycare
The transitional object is part of typical daycare, and educators accept the presence of comforters when the parent leaves or during naps. The educational program of daycare services in Quebec recognizes that each child is unique and that the need for comfort varies significantly from one child to another.
For this reason, the educational program encourages parents and educators to set up personalized rituals: " looks, gestures, words, delivery of an object belonging to the child", to help the toddler, but also the parent, to feel more confident at the time of separation in the morning.
Each comforter is unique.
Children have difficulty accepting a change of cuddly toy and rarely "adopt" more than one because, for them, their cuddly toy is unique. The smell and texture it has acquired over the days reassure the child. Babies are susceptible to smells. Those of breast milk, soap, and his parents' skin are often enough to soothe him.
Thus, even if a doggie seems identical to another (bought, for example, at the same place), it is not: its smell and its wear give it a unique character.
The relationship with the comforter varies from child to child. Some drag it around all day. Others ask for it, especially at bedtime, when they are upset, when they hurt themselves or when they find themselves in a new environment.
Until what age is the comforter?
It is the child who will decide for himself not to take his cuddly toy anymore. One day, he will simply no longer feel the need to have one, perhaps because:
- the language will give him new means of expressing his pain or his boredom;
- he will feel more sure of himself;
- his social development (friends, outdoor activities, etc.) will mean that he will need less comfort from his cuddly toy.
Generally, the toddler abandons his cuddly toy between 3 and 5 years old. However, some children aged 4 or 5 can use it to reassure themselves during periods of adaptation or stressful situations, such as during a visit to the doctor, a change of educator or group at daycare, a trip of the parents, or even during illness. Around six years old, the child is usually no longer reassured with his cuddly toy.
However, a child may need to find his cuddly toy temporarily if a more challenging event occurs in his life, such as the illness of a loved one, a move, or the coming of a fresh babe in the home. It is vital to respect this need. When the child has got to grips with this unique situation, he will once again leave his cuddly toy on his own.
How to help your child to detach himself from his cuddly toy?
Here are some tips if you want to help your child get rid of his comforter:
- Avoid suddenly removing his comforter, thinking that he will mourn faster. On the opposite, it is a query of reassuring him and making him responsible by gradually separating him from his cuddly toy. The more he feels understood and reassured, the sooner he will abandon bringing his cuddly toy everywhere.
- Allow him to have his cuddly toy during essential changes, such as starting daycare or moving from one group of children to another. You can also ask his educator to observe when he asks for his cuddly toy to discover what worries him. Around 3 or 4 years old, your child can accept specific rules, for example, that he can take her for naps or car trips, but not to the grocery store.
- When done gently and at their own pace, these experiences of break allow toddlers to embrace coping techniques that will help them throughout their lives.
- You can also slowly promote your small one's freedom by telling him that, on your side, you think about bringing all the necessary items during outings or activities and that his responsibility is to think about his comforter. A small "reminder" near the door – a picture of a cuddly toy, for example – can help.
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